Monday, June 14, 2010

Ordinary day

Awake. 6:20am.  Shuffle to the bathroom. Put in contacts. Wipe mascara from under eyes.  Pull on gym clothes. Sigh deeply. Tie back hair. Eat cereal. Brush teeth. Prepare car food for babies. Grab Jared's lunch. Load kids into car. Drive 24 miles to drop Jared off at work.  Sing along to Dr. Seuss DVD.  Head to Gym. Drop off kids. Call friend. Vent to friend.  Cry to friend.  Friend gives 2.5 hours worth of therapeutic advice. Meanwhile, bike 10 miles.  Feel like quitting. Run 3.5.  Rock the abs.  Pick up kids. Sanitize hands.  Walk to consignment shop.  Run after Jack. Call for Sadie. Dig through size 6 shoes. Run after Jack. Hold him as he squirms and screams to try on shoe. Release him. Dig through size 7 shoes.  Call for Jack. Look for Jack. Retrieve Jack from employee-only storeroom area.  Try 3 more shoes on him. Release Jack.  Call for Sadie.  Decide on shoes.  Call for Jack.  Look for Jack. Retrieve Jack from store manager. Return items Jack pulled from shelves. Return to shoes. Look for Sadie. Look for Jack. Remove Jack from jogging stroller on display.  Make way to counter to pay for shoes. Notice jogging stroller moving. Remove Jack screaming from stroller.  Answer phone. Remove Sadie from stroller.  Kiss a boo boo.  Return to counter. Pay for shoes. Call for Jack. Find him with store manager.  Exit store.  Walk back to gym. Strap kids into the car. Sanitize hands. Distribute granola bars and water.  Drive to Kohls.  Search for a cart with a double stroller aspect.  Find one 7 carts deep into the row.  Load kids into cart. Go to customer service to return item. Return to car to find receipt.  Go back inside store. Head to the bathroom.   Return to customer service counter.  Return item.  Search for shorts. No luck.  Exit Kohls.  Load kids into the car.  Search for binkie.  Text a friend.  Call a friend.  Head to Post Office.  Look for custom's forms. No luck. Attempt to figure out best way to ship package to Iraq.  No luck. Wait in line. Retrieve tic tacs from Sadie. Stop Jack from pushing a little girl.  Apologize to little girl and her mother on behalf of Jack.  Call for Sadie.  Wait in line.  Watch postal worker speak to customers in condescending tone.  Make sympathetic eye contact with three customers who interacted with angry postman. Imagine myself going off on mean postman. Call for Sadie.  Comfort Jack.  Wait in line.  Wait in line. Wait. In. Line. Arrive at head of line. Seek advice of postman. Thank Heaven that its not the condescending one. Fill out Custom's form.  Seek advice regarding the proper way to address package. Address package. Pay $5. Watch postman attach Custom's form.  Realize my Daddy's in Iraq. Feel lump in throat. Begin to cry.  Take a deep breath. Call for Sadie.  Walk to Car. Load up kids. Drive to H-E-B. Find awesome parking spot. Unload kids. Walk into store.  Look for "race car" shopping cart.  No luck. Walk to other side of giant store to find race car.  No luck. Load kids into non-race car shopping cart.  Compensate for lack of race car by giving both children a balloon and sucker (given free at the door).  Sample cheese. Observe the lobsters. Start shopping.  Deep sigh.  Contemplate the budget.  Strategically purchase food in a calculated manner as not to waste a penny.  Deny requests for candy. Search for Jared's favorite BBQ chips. Put chips in basket.  Realize Jack has eaten through unopened sucker and  is covered in red stickiness. Cross length of the store to restroom.  Wash Jack's hands.  Wash Sadie's hands. Wash front of shopping cart.  Exit restroom.  Back to shopping.  Finish and pay.  Begin to leave. Turn around to retrieve "Buddy Buck's" per request of screaming 3 year old.  Take Buddy Bucks to claw-arm vending machine. Try to put fake Buddy Buck money into vending machine.  No luck. Machine broken. Comfort Sadie. Comfort Jack. Cross the length of big ass store for the 6th time.  Find another "Buddy" machine.  Put buck into machine. Allow Sadie to retrieve stickers from machine. Give Jack a turn. Attempt to help Jack. Get slapped. Try to calm Jack. Attempt to help him again. Get slapped.  Threaten to leave.  Try to help Jack. Get slapped.  Start to walk away.  Sadie starts to cry on Jack's behalf.  Help Jack get stickers.  Leave store.  Load kids into car.  Distribute apple juice.  Load groceries into the car.  Return cart. Answer phone. Argue with husband. Eat sushi.  Drive home. Unload kids. Unload groceries. Put groceries away. Feel like sitting on couch. Make lunch for the kids. Check Facebook. Comment on status updates. Feel lonely. Change diaper. Change clothes. Find Binkie. Find lovey. Bring kids upstairs for a nap.  Clean kitchen. Begin to prep for dinner. Wake kids. Eat a banana. Load kids into the car. Drive 24 miles to USAA. Check in with security at the gate.  Receive text message. Husband working late. Search for a library. Exit USAA's campus. Drive to library. Answer phone. Husband is ready.  Return DVDs to library.  Return to USAA to pick up husband.  Call husband.  Check in with security at the gate. Enter campus. Drive to parking garage. Pick up husband.  Drive home. Unload kids. Check for scorpions.  Finish cooking dinner.  Clean kitchen.  Eat tofu stir fry.  Decide to mow the lawn.  Attempt to put gas into the mower. Spill gas everywhere.  Clean up gas.  Mow the lawn. Edge the grass.  Close garage.  Go inside.  Peel off clothes.  Jump in shower.  Breathe deeply.  Think about ice cream. Wash. Dry. Clothe. Find Jack in bathroom.  Hear Sadie in her room.  Kiss Jack good night.  Tuck Sadie into bed. Snuggle. Sing "You are my Sunshine" and the "Lullabye Song". Collect dirty clothes. Run downstairs. Think about ice cream. Put away left overs. Clean the kitchen. Feel like quitting. Think about ice cream. Wipe the table. Put clothes into washer. Pick up toys. Vacuum living room. Think about ice cream. Contemplate stopping.  Sweep kitchen and dining room.  Mop floors.  Open freezer. Find ice cream. Scoop ice cream into bowl. Open refrigerator. Find raspberry sauce.  Swirl sauce onto ice cream.  Sit down.  Breathe.  Savor. Every. Bite. Of ice cream.  Turn on computer.Check email. Look through family pictures. Write e-mail. Check facebook. Read updates. Make comments. Sign into blog. Begin to write. Decide to write for myself and no one else. Find a sense of self gratification. 11:53pm. Ready to sleep.