Sunday, July 26, 2009

I pushed my nose up to her nose and she wrapped her tiny arm behind my neck. I could feel her breathe like a soft warm breeze as she laughed from excitement.

"I love you, Sadie."

We were curled face to face right before bed. I traced the side of her face and tucked the delicate wisps of hair behind her ear. There are few moments when I have the opportunity to lock eyes with my two year old. She's always bouncing from one thing to the next; bursting with life. I never take these moments for granted.

"Soooo, so much. Do you know that? You're my baby girl. My most favoritest girl in the WHOLE world! Do you know that?"

"Yes. I your girl. I lob you too, Mama."

I wanted to study the moment and tattoo it inside of my heart. I knew the reality of the situation. A sadness panged my heart and knocked the breath from my chest.

She's going to grow up. She'll change and blossom and this little baby girl will become a big girl. She won't need me to read her stories before bed nor will she request the "Sunshine song" or "Sleep, sleep Sadie" or "Lullaby" to lull her to sleep. She won't cry for me in the morning to pull her from her bed.
This little girl will disappear, and though I will love whoever she will become, I can't help but feel crestfallen to one day lose who she is now. I try not to think about it. Not how my Mama did it with me and her Mama did it with her; and the ghost- like feeling of remembering your past. I try to stay in the moment with both Sadie and Jack. Always keeping in the back of my mind that these moments are priceless and not to be taken for granted.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

florida pictures

It was a Walden vacation. Much needed and a long time comin'. And they invited US!!!! Mama suggested we rent a condo in Destin for a couple of nights and hang out on the beach. Aside from the corneal abrasion from Jack scratching my eye, it was an awesome trip! All of these pictures are from the first day since I couldn't open my eyes on the second!

"Pick me up." "What? like this?" "Both of you! Pick me up like sideways." "Why?" "Just do it!" I always wanted a picture like that. :)
Me and Mama and Daddy.
Little Rabbit...
...eats the sand. And LIKES it.
My cute little Mama!
The water is the way it should be: Clear with an emerald tint and warm. None of this cold brown water shtuff! I grew up going to Pensacola Beach with its beautiful sugary sands and gorgeous waters, so my standards are pretty high for what is labled "beach." Plus, I'm particularly picky about any water that I play in since i'm afraid of what I can't see. You could see the fish swimming!
It was the perfect summer evening; warm with a setting sun. The sunlight was beautiful on my baby.
Sadie couldn't get enough of the sand. A month later, she's still asking to go to the beach. When we go to the car in the garage to go somewhere, she passes her pail and shovel and says emphatically "WE GO TO THE BEACH TODAY!!!!"
Uncle KK and the little Rabbit. KK looks like he's a fun guy judging by the smile on Jack's face!
Sadie, so tired after playing in the waves and the sand. Uncle KK's shoulder is the perfect place to rest.
JJ took Jack into the ocean for the first time in his whole life! JJ would help him to jump the waves. Sometimes a wave would sneak up on them, though, and clobber them in the face. Jack didn't seem to mind much. He's so tough!
I was excited to have a picture with Jared. We rarely get the opportunity to take a picture of just us.
Hey! I'M supposed to be the "big sister!" But Kyle's becoming my "big brother!" I think he could bench press two of me.
Good times. Good times.

Kevin at sunset. I like this picture because I feel like I'm talking to him when I look at it.
We took this picture right before Daddy left for the airport to return to Iraq. We went out to eat at the Pensacola Alehouse and took this in the parking lot. I cried when i got to the car. Right after Jared, the kids and I got back to Mimi and Papa's, Kyle called me asking if I wanted to ride with him to pick Daddy up from the airport. His flight had been canceled! He was stressed, but I was secretly (and openly!) excited to have one more night with him. We had to leave the next morning, but I got all of the crying out the night before so it made leaving a tiny bit easier.
On the way home we passed through Baton Rouge. I was feeling really mushy and sentimental and made a last second decision to exit I-10 at Acadian. We found that we couldn't drive around campus because there (new? or new to us?) guard gates blocking the through streets. We parked in front of a garbage dumpster and I ran out with Sadie so she could see Mike. He was sleeping in the corner right next to the gate so she was able to see him pretty up close. There was a big bush in the way of posing her in front of him for a picture so we took one in front of the statue. I sure do miss Baton Rouge. We stopped off at our buddy Matt's house and talked with him for a while. It was wonderful to be back there.