Happy Birthday Jamie and Holly

These two girls could always brighten my day.

One semester at LSU we had a break that overlapped and I'd always find them upstairs in the Union. I seemed to always be stressed (in that dramatic way of mine) and venting about something. Jamie and Holly would lend me their sympathetic ears and find some way to relate to whatever craziness I was going through. They had a way of grounding me and helping me feel safe that made me gravitate towards them.

Through the 8 years we've known each other, we've gone from college, to young and married and newly employed, to mommies trying to figure it all out together. And voyaging that transition together; sharing the struggles and the joy- that's what makes them two of my closest friends on the planet.

I hope today is as beautiful for them as they are to me.

Love you girls. Happy Birthday.

New Car

My new 2003 Ford Escape. This is not actually her, but a picture of what she looks like. I can fit both kids in it comfortably and if I lose a few pounds, probably myself between the two of them in the back seat. Its a pretty red, drives nice, has had only one previous owner (who only drove it 8,300 miles a YEAR!), a 6 CD changer, power everything, and is in great overall condition. Jared, with all his car saleseman insider knowledge, was able to knock $3,000 off of the asking price. He pretty much mowed them down and it was darn sexy.

Good bye knees-to-my-chest-sitting-so-close-to-the-dash-the-air-bag-will-kill-me-if-it-goes-off-since-Jack's-car-seat-is-taking-up-all-of-the-space-in-the-civic and hello leg room, four doors, and cargo space. Yes!

To my Civic: Don't feel bad. Its not you, its me. My needs have grown. You did nothing wrong. You're just small by design and that's part of why I love you. You're gas mileage has saved us tons and we've been so many places together; 114,000 miles worth, to be exact. You've been great to me and i'll continue to drive you when i'm without the kiddos.

The overwhelmedness continues in the Rawson household. We need a break away from $1000.00 worth of car repairs, lost car titles, screaming constipated babies, cramped living spaces, feelings of inadequacy, and sleepless nights.

overwhelmedness

Have you ever felt this way?
Overwhelming love and gratitude and happiness and pride and glee... and exhaustion and guilt and fear and frustration and even overwhelming overwhelmedness (Yes, I said it. Overwhelming overwhelmedness. Proper pronounciation: over-well-med-ness.) so much so that you want to thrust yourself out of a moving vehicle going about 70 on I-10 to escape the choir of screams, chokes, and gags coming from your two beautiful children sitting in the back seat? Okay, so maybe when I'm feeling love, gratitude, happiness, pride and glee the whole jumping out of a car thing doesn't apply, but oh how quickly a happy little moment filled day can go from one side of the line to the other.

Like when you catch your two year old with "Daddy's Deoderant" and she's smiling so you pick her up and find that she's put it under her armpits because that's what Daddy does so you bust out laughing and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Then you turn around and this same child is screaming and throwing a Daninino yogurt and snot is shooting out of her nose because she's crying so hard. Now, the baby is screaming and when you go to comfort him, the two year old screams harder because she's not getting mommy's attention. So you pile these two children on top of you in an attempt to regain peace and sanity but they are both fighting against you so hard you give up.

Lately, I feel overwhelming overwhelmedness. I want to be two people that can give my two children the same amount of love and attention that my one child received before baby #2 came along. I want to have the laundry done, the floors vacuumed, the dishes washed, the errands run. I want to be a supportive wife, a patient mother, a servant of my Heavenly Father, a long-distance friendship keeper, an e-mail returner, a book reader, a playdate keeper, a phone call answerer, a house cleaner. A loving sister, daughter, mother, grandaughter, niece, wife, aunt.

I can't do it. But I WANT to. And wanting too so badly is what is causing the overwhelmedness. Its what's provoking me to buy earplugs to use while driving. Its what's leaving me with enough guilt that I want to cry soft and hard in an attempt to purge it all from the bottom of my stomach. You know, that place that swirls and then tightens with the back of your throat right before a good cry?

So Dixie...

So, Dixie. I think waaaaay too much. Fourth folder from the top of the page that pops up when I click 'pictures' on my computer button dealie thingie? or Fourth folder chronologically from when folders started existing on this computer? I chose fourth folder chronologically from when folders started existing on this computer and then went to the fourth picture in that folder.

This is a picture from October 2005. Jared's brother Daniel and his wife, Catherine came to visit us in Baton Rouge. We went hiking in Tunica Hills and took this picture. We were newlyweds...Jared and I married in July and Daniel and Catherine in August.

For those of you who are confused, the tag is to post the fourth picture from the fourth folder in your pictures file. Angela, Jenn, Holly, Jamie, and Lexi... I dare you to try it!

I KNEW I had a can of tomato paste!!! I found it underneath my bed while looking for a shoe.

Go crazy?

Me: Sadie, if you don't stop I am going to go CRAZY!

Sadie: Go crazy? Sadie come? Sadie go crazy. Go with Mama?

Yesterday morning was a little rough. Jared and I were trying to get the kids ready so we could run errands and Sadie was particularly whiny. It was our fault, really, since we let her stay up past 10pm the night before. We've been telling her for a month that we'd get her a bike for her birthday. Everyday she'd ask for it and the reply was "yes, Sadie. but you have to wait for your birthday." Well, her birthday came and went and we didn't produce. So Thursday I planned on following through on my promise.

7:42pm Sadie and I are on our way to pick up her bike from Wal-mart.
8:34pm we emerge with bike, soft drinks, rice, apples, bottled water, green chilies...why am I incapable of coming out of Wal-mart with only what I intended to buy??
9:10pm Jared begins to assemble bike.
9:20pm I begin to here murmurings: "Aght! STUPID! What the? Why the? Grrrrr...."
10:00pm Sadie is crying because she keeps trying to sit on the parts of the bike Jared has assembled, but Jared is still trying to assemble the bike and needs Sadie to move. Her feelings are hurt and its WAAAAAY past her bed time.
10:30pm Bike is complete... Well, almost. The wheels are on backwards. Sadie sits on the bike for 2 1/2 minutes and then is peeled off of it to go to bed with promises that the bike will be there in the morning.
12:30am Jared comes to bed after figuring out how to finish the bike.

So, Friday morning was rough for the tired Rawsons. I told Sadie I was going crazy and she wanted to come too.

Pumpkin Patch

Saturday, we took the babies to a pumpkin patch in Houston. Catherine and Daniel brought Peyton and our good friend Kathy brought her little girl Ana Julia.
This place is an exotic farm year round (Sounds a little dirty, I know) and they let a few of their animals run around the patch for the kids to pet. Sadie was a little scared of the Joey, but after much coaxing, I got her to come near him. They also had a cute pot bellied pig, two South African Raccoons, and a baby dear.
Here's a good picture of our fellow Awesome Rawsons.



Catherine, who is amazingly creative and talented, transformed these pictures into cute works of art!

This girl didn't want to pet the cute 10inch baby deer or the Charlotte's Web-esque pot bellied pig or the adorable Joey kangaroo, but she was DEMANDING to pet the dirty ole' Llamas with the funky teeth. Llamas don't really like humans so I had to stealth-ninja style it to get her close to one. We finally found a crippled gimpy llama that couldn't escape us.
Jack was loving the pumpkin patch.
The artistic stylings of Catherine Rawson...

The Things We Love About Our Sadie Bug

Sadie loves to look for airplanes when we're driving in the car. The plane will look like a mosquito, its so far away, but Sadie will point it out. Do we have a future air traffic controller in our midst?

She has an awesome memory. I can show her a picture of someone once and she'll remember their name and face days later. She learned all of her ABC's by the time she was 18 months old.

She loves to read. Her favorite right now is "The Cat in the Hat." She also likes "The Very Hungry Catipillar" by Eric Carle and "The House that Jack Built" by Tabot.

This girl is obsessed with shoes and no matter how ugly the shoe, she makes them look cute.

Whenever we get in the car Sadie wants me to put her "sh-ong on" which means I get to listen to Colbie Callait's song "bubbly" for however long it takes us to get to where we're going. I'm glad its a good song and not something that makes me want to jump out of the car. Lately, she even sings along to the part where Colbie says "Wherever, wherever, wherever, you go..."

Sadie likes to help take care of Jack, but she'll let you know when she's "all finished."

If we are somewhere were there are toys, she'll find the bike and ain't no body gettin' on it once she's got a hold of it.

Sadie is a happy kid who loves to be around people. She has an infectious laugh. She also has a sense of pride whenever she does something good. She'll smile and say "GOOD JOB!"

She asks to pray before bed and is always willing to offer up the prayer. Then we follow the bedtime routine by taking her to her room, giving her "lovie" to sleep with, have her turn off the light, then hold her next to her bed for a little bit after which she raises her head, gives us a kiss and says "night night."

Sadie will point out everything for which she knows the word. Right now the favorite is "candle"...appropriate for birthday time coinicidentally.

She yells "TOUCHDOWN!" and throws both hands in the air while saying it. She will also yell out "Geaux Tigers!" when LSU is playing. Also, whenever golf is on TV or we pass a golf course she says "golf" to let us know...must be daddy's little girl!

Any time she wants to be held she will look up at us and say "hold you?'', and if we can't at the moment, she is relentless about asking over and over until we can or give in.

She likes to be thrown high into the air by Daddy, much to Mama's lament, and then says "high...!" when Daddy's gone past her height limit.

Sadie likes taking Daddy to work and picking him up once nap time is over. She realizes where she is once coming off the off ramp exit that takes us into his workplace by saying "Daddy work?"

Some of her favorite pasttimes include going to story time at the public library, going to Chuck-E-Cheese and Wal-Mart to ride the horsie for $.50, playing at the park, go see friends, watch Mickey Mouse and Super Why, and being spoiled by both grandparents.

Sadie LOVES music. When she was really young, she would "conduct" music in church during the hymns. Now, she sings and loves to play on the piano. She also loves the guitar.

Sadie's birthday cake should have been made out of "Daninino" yogurt. She eats a little cup of it and asks for another right away. For every meal, she asks for a "Daninino". Other favorites are Macaroni and Cheese, chocolate milk, and gold fish.

We love our little Sadie Bug and can't believe she's already two! No matter how old she gets, she'll always be our baby girl.

Jack needed a swing....BAD. So Catherine and I went to a resale baby shop here in Houston. We checked out all of the swings and bouncy seats and found this one for a fraction of its original cost. It works great (see picture below).

Tada!!!!

I finally caught a smile!

Jack is a happy little guy. He was smiling and cooing, but I wasn't fast enough to get a smile on camera. Here, he's coming down off of a smile. Can you tell?

We caught Sadie with her head tilted back, peering out from under her hair. Her hair had gotten so long, she couldn't see so I put a pony tail up top to help her out. This lasted about 20 minutes and then she came up to me crying for it to come out. So....

We decided to give her a hair cut. This one went way better than the last. She still looked uncomfortably concerned over the whole process, but wasn't in tears by the end.

Here she is with her new bob.
Jack is enjoying his baths now that we are putting him in a little tub. I guess sponge baths aren't what they're cracked up to be.
Sadie hated these type tubs when she was small enough to fit in them, but now that Jack's in them, they're sooooo interesting!

Following Lexi

After reading Lexi's very entertaining tutorial on making pumpkin gingerbread, I decided to give it a try. I enlisted Sadie's help.

Sadie has helped me mix all of the "dry" ingredients. As you can see, she used her hands to achieve this task.
Here we are getting ready to spray our bread pans with Pam.
Sadie thought Crisco tasted wonderful straight up. Yuck.
The finished product. The loaf on the right is completely gone already. I started on the left loaf for breakfast this morning. We didn't share a loaf like Lexi. She's a better person that I am.

Budding artist

"Ahhh! What's that?"

I felt something cool stripe my foot. I looked down from doing the dishes to see Sadie looking up at me with a hot pink marker. She smiled her proud smile and went back to work. I surveyed the damage: Her feet were covered in pink, there was a bold pink stripe down the front of her brand new pants, her hands were stained pink, the floor next to her had deliberate pink scribbles, and Momma (of course) has been pinked as well. I realized she was trying to do my feet the way she did her own. It was cute. And fortunately washable.

She did manage to get some on a piece of paper, which she proudly showed me.

My sweet little man has been cooing a lot more lately. He's even cracked a few smiles (though not shown in pictures above). I love this little guy.

I still have to wrap my mind around the idea that I'm married with two children. Wasn't I the child just a minute ago? Sometimes I forget that i'm a grown up and do things like take my shoes off and sit cross legged at a restaurant. Or say something like "dude, that would totally suck" in the middle of a Sunday school lesson. I feel like I'm caught in some thinly veiled world where I'm too old to know the lingo/fashion of the highschoolers, but I feel too young to be called "m'am" or "lady" or "sister rawson" or to drive a mini-van (gosh, I wish I had a mini-van! the Honda Odessy to be exact...silver...with a 6 disc CD player and automatic sliding doors).