A self portrait by Sadie.

Ikea offers prime parking to those with hybrid cars. Because of this advantage, I must now purchase one so next time I won't have to walk my two babies in the rain from my far away parking spot while the tatted up single guy driving the prius gets the closest spot.
Look at this kid! He's been standing and crawling for the past month! If he keeps this up, he'll be walking before the end of month 8.
Maybe he's trying to keep up with his sister.

Jack slept through the night once so we moved back to our room. After 4 nights of interrupted sleep in our room, we are back on the air mattress in the living room. Maybe this time we'll have to stay on it a bit longer than a week for it to take? hmmmm...

Tech baby, tech.

Sadie says: "I see Ipod Mama."
I say: "Oh, that's Mama's Blackberry."
Sadie says: "Okay, I check my e-mail then."

She pushes a few buttons and stares at the screen. Nothing happens (i have locked the keypad) so she drops the phone and runs towards the kitchen:
"I use the computer to check my e-mail."

I remember back in the day not having a computer and using Encyclopedias and BOOKS to write papers and do research. No internet. No e-mails. I remember not needing (or wanting) a cell phone. Having a cordless phone was pretty cool. Ipods? Psh! tape players and CDs were the way to go.

So, just think. This little conversation I had with my TWO YEAR OLD would not have taken place at all between me and my mother. And I'm only 26. Amazing how fast this world changes.

Jack + Our Room = Us on an airmattress in the livingroom.

We just couldn't take it anymore. Baby boy was waking up sometimes every 20 minutes to an hour. He'd stand up and poke his head over the top of the pack-n-play and cry at us. After Jared considered putting him in the bathroom and our closet (and its NOT a walk in closet), we decided to move to the living room. So far, so good. The first night, he still woke up frequently, but we were able to let him cry and settle himself. The crying definitely isn't as bad when your in the next room as opposed to an arm's length away. The second night, he woke up less and didn't nurse at all; which is a huge change from nursing every two hours. We'll see what night 3 holds. Hopefully, we'll be able to return to our room and our bed (that doesn't deflate) by the end of the week!

Who needs sleep? ME!

I assure you that for the last 12 minutes I have thought up this entire post in my mind while tossing and turning in my bed; striving for optimal comfort and hoping to drift softly to sleep. Why am I not asleep? Why?

My mind is filled with thoughts. Thoughts that buzz noisily like a room filled with bees. Bees with no flight plan, no direction. They bounce and spin off of one another, splintering my thoughts into a thousand different places.

It all starts with Jack. Jack wakes up and smiles at me in the morning and makes everything okay. But at night...oh at night...
I lay there. Quiet. Trying to stiffle my sniffles. Trying to turn ever so gently as not to crinkle the sheets. Can't. Get. Comfortable. Oh no! He moved. He's still moving. Uh oh. His breathing is getting louder and he's starting the uncomfortable begining of a cry. Great.

I am a creature of routine. I like to know what's coming next. Just ask Travis, my brother in law. He's been watching the new season of 24 - a show that Jared and I are not watching until his dad records the whole season on his TIVO and we can go on a 24 watching binge. Left alone with Travis, do you think I didn't ask if Tony Alameda really went rogue? I had to know. And now I do. Mwahahaha...

So, not knowing if i'll actually get sleep when I go to bed makes it nearly impossible to go to bed. I wonder with ever breath and every wiggle: "is this it? is he waking up? I don't want to get too comfortable if i've gotta get back up." Then when he does wake up - 'cause you know he does- I get him back to sleep, but then I can't get ME back to sleep. I wonder again: "did it take? is he really back to sleep? I better wait a bit just in case." I watch the clock. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. "Is it safe yet? Oh, good grief, if I fall asleep now i'll only get 6 hours of sleep!" The clock becomes my enemy. I race against it. Fall asleep NOW and you'll bet 5 hours 53 minutes and 37...36...35...34 seconds of sleep!

Then, I make a critical mistake. I think. No, not "I think" as in "I think I made a critical mistake," but "I think" as in thoughts flood my mind like the 9th ward after Katrina.
I let one little thought in and it snowballs. You ever get out of bed to pee in the middle of the night and tell youself not to think. Sometimes I try not to open my eyes lest I be inspired to think. The fact is, the longer you are awake, the more opportunity for thinkage. And once thinkage happens, you're doomed.

"I must remember to remember to call Rooms to Go tomorrow and give them our new address for delivery. Oh, and find the warranty information on the bed we bought two years ago since the mattress is sagging and its a friggin' $2200.00 bed. Why does my nose get stopped up when I lay in the bed, anyway? Am I catching a cold? Maybe there's mold in the air in here. Is that why Jack isn't sleeping? I need to find a dentist on my health plan. Did I e-mail my uncle back? I think "withered moss' is what we'll go with in the living room, but what should I do about our bedroom. When will grass turn green again? Did I sound stupid in that comment I made on so-and-so's facebook page? Will Jack start walking soon? Did I hold Sadie too much? Is that why she took longer to walk? Am I doing a good job balancing the two kids? I wonder who they'll grow up to be. I wonder if Lexi and Troy purposly picked a house with a fireplace so she could decorate it during Christmas. I hope Britney is doing well. I miss her. Daddy's working in Iraq right at this very moment. Will Jared ever find the time to study? Am I selfish?"

The thoughts keep coming and I lay there like I'm in my car watching the longest train in the world passing across the road to sleep. Will I ever get there? Yes, I know I will. Anytime soon? God, I hope so.

More Hairs Cut.

Remember a few months ago when I attempted to give my patient and loving husband a haircut and I pretty much left him bald? I do. It pretty much traumatized me from cutting hair. But today, ah today, when Sadie looked at me through a wall of hair and nearly stumbled into the bathroom cabinet, I decided to overtake my fear.

I busted out the scissors and Sadie busted into tears. She shrieked and wailed and screamed so loud it woke Jack out of a sound sleep. I cut snippits at a time; coming at her like a sniper till eventually, her bangs were cut and she could see. This must have impressed her because something changed. She calmed down and actually got into the whole process. She even asked me to cut her beloved bear's "hair."

I went to get poor Jack who, was ripped from his peaceful sleep by the blood curdling screams of his sister. I held him up and looked at his head. "Hmmmm.... I can do this." I was on a roll. I sat him in front of me and grappled at straggles of hair with the scissors. After the first snip I was committed. There was no turning back. I tried to remember what my friend Heidi taught me about using my fingers as a guide. Remembering seemed to comfort me in my efforts, so I tried to forget that I never really understood what she was teaching me to begin with. Still, acting like I knew what I was doing gave me a sense of confidence.

Cutting Jack's hair was like playing that game at Chuck-E-Cheese where you have to bop the frog or mouse or whatever it is that pops up out of the hole with huge mallot. He bobbed and wiggled and batted at the scissors.

Somehow, I avoided any major damages to either child, or their hair. So impressed with myself was I that I took like 40 pictures.

Remember. I am no professional. We'll say with Sadie we were going with the "I just need to see" look and with Jack we were trying for the "messy" look. With that said, they are masterful haircuts.

Jack didn't like the prunes so much as he liked intercepting the spoon midway to his mouth and smearing them all over his face. But, that's the great thing about babyhood. When else in life do you get to do stuff like that and get away with it without people thinking you need to be committed?



The peas went a little better, but he still liked grabbing on to that spoon!
This is a "self portrait" by Sadie. She is quite the photographer. Mainly she focuses on ceiling fans...sippie cups...her left nostril... She's quite the artist.
Do you see what his onsie says? It says "I'll sleep when I'm good and ready." He means this. This is not just a cute onsie. It is the honest to goodness truth.

Sadie and Jack are interacting more and more. Although, sometimes the interaction consists of "NOoooOOooo! That's MINE!", most of the time its "Read to Jack?" "Its okay Jack, you aright" or "How goes it baby Jack?!"