Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Some people say that people don't change. Once a drunk, always a drunk. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If they leave their dirty socks on the floor, they'll always leave their dirty socks on the floor.

Other people say that our weaknesses provide us with opportunity to garner strength through our pursuit of change. Weaknesses are inevitable challenges that allow us to grow and learn.

I think I'm going to straddle the fence on this one. First of all, we can't change people. People change themselves. However, I agree with the latter of thoughts: that our weaknesses provide us with opportunity to garner strength through our struggle to change and ultimately grow. But, I think too, that there are some things that no matter what we do, we can never change. What do you think?

Jared's been leaving the shower curtain open after his showers. I like to have it closed so that it reduces the chance of mildew. I've told him this, but he still (for the most part) leaves it open. As I was stepping out of the shower tonight, I thought about all of the little annoying habits I have and how Jared doesn't point them out. I annoy myself with these things, but he quietly and lovingly lives with them. I love that about him. Its part of what makes him, him. He has a selfless consideration for other people's feelings. Its the way he strives to think of how he'd want to be treated when he interacts with others. At the same time, I want to sift through his thoughts and find all of the things that I do that annoy him so I can change them; so I can be better for him as well as for myself. Maybe its part of my subconscious quest to be perfect. Earlier tonight when Jared was sprawled out on the sofa leaving no room for me to sit, I impatiently barked at him to sit up and make room for me. Two seconds later, I felt like a shrew. Most of the time, my big-ole' self is the one sprawled out on the couch while Jared takes the floor. This double-sidedness is one of my flaws. Its okay for me to sprawl, but not for him. I don't like this about myself, but am terribly grateful my sweet husband did not throw it in my face. Maybe he patiently waits for me to see these flaws on my own? In any case, I can learn a lot from him.

I grab my towel and close the curtain. I realize I need to let the shower curtain go. If this is the biggest flaw I have to worry about with my wonderful husband, then I'll close that curtain myself for the rest of our lives. I'll embrace that curtain as a daily symbol that I have this amazing man in my life. I'll be grateful that I have a shower curtain to close. It means he's here and that we're together. Some things don't need to change.

ps...He just showered and he shut the curtain this time :)

8 comments:

Jenn said...

I love your posts. I too suffer from the same thing (pointing out everything to Markus) and naturally Markus doesn't pass the favor along to me. We are so blessed to have husbands that just kinda go with the flow and are so considerate of their wives. Love you!

Troy said...

This post was fairly entertaining from my point of view as a husband, as Lexi and I enjoy a similar relationship. I suspect that Lexi could give you a long list of what I admittedly don't close, clean, etc. Dare I say that your situation is not an anomoly but a ubiquitous husband and wife dynamic? That being said I believe committed couples can work on meeting somewhere in the middle, i.e. The husband will work to shorten the list if the wife works to shorten the list, not remind him of the list as often and to try to do so in a nice way. In fact, reaching this agreement is probably the only thing on our list we might mention.
P.S. When we come visit, I'll try to close the shower curtain and lower the toilet seat. I can't guarantee much more than that. I'm hopeless.

Kristen C said...

Hey Courtney!!! I just started blogging and I love reading your posts. They really make me think about things.

Kristi said...

I love your blog and your posts! Its hard not to be critical, but its harder not to be self-critical. I know what you mean. ;) What are you guys up to this week? Maybe next week lets get together for dinner at our place! Like.. Tuesday?

The Snow Family said...

Sorry we missed you while we were in San Antonio for the Memorial Day Weekend. We were looking forward to cruising on the river with you. Hopefully, we'll be back to San Antonio soon so we can hang out.
As for showering, Karen's just glad I keep doing it!

Jamie said...

We just have too much in common. Joe and I JUST went through the same battle and after like two weeks of me nagging him about that stinking shower curtain I went to the dollar store and bought 5 or 6 of the thin shower curtain liners and decided that I'll change the liner like every couple of weeks instead of fighting with Joe about it. I was starting to feel like I was making Joe's life miserable with all of my rules and complaints.

Jenn said...

hey my music plays on my blog and so does yours, so turn up your volume. P.S. We are trying to come see yall next month or so... what do you think yall's sched looks like?? Love you! How many hours is it??

Jenn said...

can you send me your email?!?